I am already 22 years old, and soon to finish college. Surprinsingly, I am still very good friends with the people I met at school and spent most of my childhood and teens with.
Noah is the one that comes to mind first. We technically met when we started first grade, but we grew closer probably three years later. The memories of that time are somehow blurry, probably because I was bullied for many years and my bran is just trying to erase some of that.
Ángel (or Tem as I like to call him) is also one of my closest friends. I actually met him before starting primary school, on a birthday party both our parents attented for a common friend. He actually hit me lol. We also started a friendship at 4th grade or something.
Noah was the first one to come out as transgender, during school. I don´t remember what my reaction was, but I have supported him since day one. Ángel came out later, and now he prefers he/him pronouns, but not necessarily sees himlsef as a man.
All of this was confusing at the start, but I love them a lot.
At school we used to be a group of 5 people, including Ángel and Noah. I will not mention their names because I don't see a point in doing so. I sorta grew apart from the other two. Partly because we didn't have anything that kept us together anymore (like I don't think I could have a one-on-one conversation with them without being awkward) and partly because of political beliefs. I know...
There is one of those two though, that actually hurt me, a lot. We were friends until like...last year? I truly loved her, as a sister. She saw parts of me no one else had. We eventually shared the same pain of losing a parent to a disease. But she didn't care about all that.
She was a bad friend at the end. She stabbed me in the back, never acknowledged what she did and she never apologized. She knows what she did was wrong, and I had to find out some pieces of truth from other people and not from her own fricking mouth.
I probably sound angry, which I am. But more than angry, I am sad. Sad that I lost a very close friend because of a crusty ass man. And not only that, but politics? That was the last straw. How could you believe that thousands of deaths of innocent people under a tyrant's "government" is okay? Why would you want to go back to when people couldn't even go out of their houses without the worry of not coming back? Police brutality on a daily basis?
It is still weird to me. My family suffered during those times, and having a close friend that has seen pain with her own eyes throughout her live, be okay with that is...i don't know.
On the bright side. even though I lost friends, I gained something else. I now know for sure that the people around me stayed because they care about me and we are on the same page on what matters.
I know she will never read this, but if she was...very deep inside, I still want (and think I deserve) and apology. I will move on and grow up, and I hope wholeheartedly that you too grow and learn from your mistakes. I will do so too. Thanks for those 8 years of friendship, and nothing more.
XOXO
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